Just read the scores, monkey

Talk radio is full of barking idiots, but even the Rush Limbaughs of the world must cower before the awesome ignorance that is sports talk radio.

From time to time, I'll flip the dial to 710am, our local ESPN Radio affiliate, in the misguided hope of hearing some scores or other useful information. But I've come to realize that it's only called "Sports Radio" because "a bunch of jackasses talking about nothing" wasn't catchy enough. Whether it's a nationally syndicated show or some local scrubs, every show is nothing but some guy running his mouth with nothing to back up his argument. Opinions are like assholes, and so are Sports Radio DJs.

I don't even mind so much when their groundless rants are at least about sports. The other day I heard Colin Cowheard assert at least a dozen times that football coaches make a bigger impact than baseball coaches. I don't know that there's much of a point to that argument, and it seems to be contradicted by guys like Tony LaRussa and Sparky Anderson, but whatever. The thing is, 90% of the time these buffoons aren't even talking about sports.

Tonight I listened to 10 minutes of these guys reading the names of bizarre phobias and then making asinine comments. "Did you know there's such thing as Papaphobia, fear of the Pope?" (Sound effect of a cow mooing for no f***ing reason) They topped that only by making a joke about how the French always surrender during war. If that's biting social commentary, I don't know what isn't.

But nothing tops a recent episode of the Joe McDonnell show, during which the hosts read an account of six people being killed at a cock fight in Mexico and giggled like school girls. Now I admit a cock fight can be a great source of comedy, but graphic accounts of people being stabbed to death isn't the best source for lame-ass one-liners.

You will hear more misinformation about politics in 45 minutes of Sports Radio than Fox News can cram into an entire day - and they're really trying. Why is the debate over the supposed bias of news agencies like CBS and NPR when these sports DJs blurt out something that is blatantly false every 15 seconds?

I don't begrudge a man for being ignorant. In truth, most of us are when it comes to most things. And if you feel the need to share your crackpot theories with those around the lunch counter - more power to you. But to spout that garbage over the airwaves in the second-largest media market in America - that just makes you an asshole.