Turn Off the News

One popular assumption I've never bought into is that when you have a television in a public place, it should be turned to a news channel - usually CNN. Hotel lobbies, airport terminals, even the waiting room at Jiffy Lube broadcast nothing but a stream of headline news garbage.

I'm sure news is the official programming of waiting rooms because it's something everyone has some interest in, and I admit there's reason in this argument. But let's take a step back and think about what topics dominate the news - politics and religion. Not exactly the best waiting room conversation.

Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I don't want to have a debate over international terrorism with the guy next to me at the airport. They always seem to end with me either nodding and smiling, swallowing my rage, or calling the guy an ignorant bigot - which also tends to make things a bit uncomfortable.

But I'm not one of these people who complains without offering a solution. Those televisions need to have something on, something that won't spark hostility. I think I've come up with the answer: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. What show sparks less debate than The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? There isn't one. The only real potential for comment is if some guy mutters "this show sucks." That will only lead to the simple response "yes, this show certainly does suck." Consensus.

And if people still insist on tuning these TVs to the news, maybe we could at least segregate our waiting rooms a bit. People of sound mind could sit on one side, while uninformed Bush drones could sit on the other. Yes, I know, we need more of a dialogue if we're ever going to achieve unity in this country. But I'm not in the mood to start it while I'm waiting for an oil change.